It’s the time of the year again!

A super big OMG cause I can’t believe that in a few days’ time we have to bid goodbye to 2011! I feel I am so not ready to welcome 2012 yet. The time is just passing faster and faster once you have hit the age of 25.

I sat down here and asked myself what have I accomplished this year? Well apart from being an aunt to my twin nephews, I really think I have achieved nothing else. My 2011 is full of work and stress if you ask me. I hope that the new year will bring more exciting adventures for the dull Me!

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I feel so lonely sometimes that tears just roll down my cheeks! You know the funny thing people actually look at me and think that I have it all. How I wish that I could tell them that it’s not the case.

Somewhere..

In a few days time, I will be flying off to Europe! I’m definitely feeling excited about this trip. Many things have happened the past year which involves a lot of hard work and sweat. So, this holiday will be just what I needed to take my mind off work. You know when you are young, you always hear the working adults complain about how hard it is to earn money. Well, I don’t used to believe it totally cause at the back of my head I was thinking how difficult can it be. Right now I am here working my ass off and I am not even sure that my business is earning.

I understand the value of money much more when I have started my business somehow. Maybe because I have to keep thinking about the cashflow to maintain the whole operations. Keep thinking of ways to make the business grow, cost cutting programs, etc. Owning a business is not as easy if you just see on the outside. It really involves a lot a lot a lot of hard work – that I can not emphasise. And sometimes even with so much hard work, you might not get to the top cause it involves other things like economy, demand, luck, etc.

You know I always have never-ending worries about my work. I even bring it to my dreams almost every single night. I just pray hard that I can make it!

“I just don’t want you to leave my memory so fast”

I cried again today! Somehow as I grow older, I am evolving into one big crybaby. You know everytime after talking to you, it always make me want to cry. I guess you have an important placement in my heart that will be hard to be erased.

Today you shared so much with me. It makes me happy to know all these cause it clears things up when words are spoken and there is no need for any guessing. From the conversation we shared, I know that you have changed. Your way of thingking is so much better now than before. You are starting to realize the certain facts of life where in the past you have refused to. I know that in time you will be a much greater person.

Somewhere in between, it makes me think back of all those years we spent together. I have shared with you so many beautiful memories that will always remain my most precious treasure.

Emo!

I have been getting a whole lot of emo these days and it gets worse a week before my mens. Not too sure it’s with the age or the stress of my work. But the people around me must have been getting the downside of it.. Ooppss! *giggles*

Cried in my car today when I came across an old uncle. I assume that he was a rag and bone man cause he was collecting bottles, cans, papers, etc. He was so frail and old that it took a lot of effort for him to move the stuff. When I saw this scene, I could not help but cry cause I feel life is so unfair to him. He was so old and barely walkable in his tattered clothes, yet he has to work in such a rough condition. My heart just goes out to him!

The flipside to this story is that we have to constantly remind ourselves to be grateful of whatever that has been given to us. Sometimes in this rushing world we always forgot to do that. So, I would like to thank God for this good life and please do forgive me if I do not love it enough.

Que Sera Sera

We are about to enter the second half of 2011!! So what have I accomplished for the first half it kinda makes me wonder. You know once you hit the age of 25, time just seems to pass even faster than before. I was sitting in the car with my folks the other day and my dad was telling how life is like a movie, which I do agree. Looking past is kinda like rewinding and playing back the DVD. And one movie only last for about two hours, practically before you know it we are already at the ending point.

I have been busy with my work from the beginning of the year till now. Well, somehow it is the only thing in my life right now that keeps me going. Going where? That I don’t know.

Have been on a few short holidays now and then. Like my trip with my secondary school mates to Hong Kong and Macau. Also, I accompany the kids to Universal Studio Singapore. Holidays never felt ever enough. I guess happy moments always seem too soon to leave.

You know these days my folks and my relatives are getting worried about my love life. Somehow it makes me even more stress. All kinds of thoughts will enter my mind, like am I so not date-able? or am I currently at the old age where no one wants? I guess right now I am just at the place where I wanna be alone for some time, enjoying some ME time. If I happen to meet anyone during this period, then it’s good. If not, then it’s also all right. But I guess they don’t like the idea of me being an old maid. Actually I feel there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You can build a family on your own too, no? I don’t know.. *giggles*

Well, I am not saying that I totally cross off the thought of marriage. Which girl do not want to wear a white wedding gown walking down the aisle with the man that she love? But if you have not met the right person, can you actually force it? I guess the only phrase to express it all “Que Sera Sera”

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

First of May

Went for a swim today and it felt really good! It has been a while since my last one so I was not in a very good shape to do many laps. By the way, I bought a very sexy swimwear just for the swim and it does prove that it is not made for sports!

Have been hearing a lot of good news recently. Starting from the royal wedding of William and Kate, my friends are buying a house and then there is the pregnant news from my sister in law. It suddenly feels to me that I am seriously getting older. It kinda freaks the hell out of me.

Some more I do not have any solid plans. All I know right now is to have fun but sometimes I feel like I am losing direction cause everyone is setting up a family of their own and I am left behind. You know being single kinda sucks especially when you are as old as me. I guess humans are made to live in pairs cause lonely is just unbearable.

Sick of the world

It is Saturday night and yet I am feeling blue! Can it get any worse than this? *sigh* It’s definitely not my day today and I can’t wait to fast forward it till tomorrow.

The world is moving so fast every single day and all the human beings living on it have to fight for their own survival. You can expect to see all kinds of tricks to be used during this fight, be it lying with a straight face, back stabbing, bad mouthing, etc. Living in such a world, how do you actually expect anyone to be able to tell the good from the bad?

It has definitely confused me today! Sometimes I don’t really know whether a person is lying to my face or they are actually telling the truth. Isn’t it funny that a master graduate like me could not even differentiate this?

You know how people keep telling you that if you are being nice to everyone around you, then you will be treated likewise? I really don’t know to what extent that we should actually believe in it cause in the first place it is so freaking difficult to find a nice person in this world!

Came across this article in today’s newspaper. It told us the story of this young couple who got murdered by a group of armed men. They were shot in the car and died right then. This was at the witness of their two children, whom luckily survived.

But can you imagine what kind of damage it will do to the two little kids? These men must be out of their minds. For goodness sake, is there no other solutions to whatever problems that they have to resort to killing? The world must have gone mad!

Anyway, it is really unthinkable that a human can be so cold hearted so as to end another man’s life!

Work has been slow these days. Not so much demand for bird nests as compared to Chinese New Year. Now, the selling price is dropping like mad and yet the buying price (of raw materials) remain about the same. Sigh! I am just hoping that it will pick up soon and everything will be all right.

Envious!

A couple of days back, my partner called me over to her place in order to buy raw materials together. The thing that surprised me the most is that when I finally met the sellers, they are actually a young newlywed couple. I reckon that they look very cute together and even more envious than this is that they are actually earning their money together. Somehow I could not take the picture out of my mind cause I thought it was really sweet to work alongside your husband to work towards one common goal. Possibly, it is something that I have always wanted. I reckon that it is more meaningful this way cause they will share all the ups and downs together to reach the dream that they wanted.

You know sometimes when you see stuff like this, you just can’t help but to wonder when is it gonna be my turn. I hope that it is not too far away cause waiting can be quite a pain.

Feels like Insomnia

Sigh! I am still wide awake at such hour! I bet tomorrow is gonna be a long long day at work. Not sure why I could not sleep. Probably I am feeling lonely! Have been feeling a lot of loneliness these days. Even hugging my bolster does not help for tonight!

I did something shocking a few days back. Maybe I am too drowned in my feelings that my head could not think clearly. But at the same time I am yearning for it. Perhaps I should find a solution to rectify all these before it’s too late.

Life at home has been pretty peaceful. Probably my parents have adapted to my beahaviour or probably it’s because I did not meet them every single day. But I know one thing for sure – they love me and wants the best for me! So, I have to keep reminding myself of this so as not to let them down.